


Mine in the Mornings

by Effervescence Silverplanet (Heather)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/F, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-01-18
Updated: 2001-01-18
Packaged: 2017-10-08 01:26:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/71282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heather/pseuds/Effervescence%20Silverplanet





	Mine in the Mornings

Daddy sleeps late since my baby was born.

He used to like to be awake in the daytime, even though the sun is mean and likes to hurt him and it makes him angry. But now, he likes to go to his room during the day and sleep, sleep, sleep, all curled up with our new baby.

But I don't mind. Daddy and Baby can sleep all they want. Because I have a secret.

Grandmother's like me. She doesn't like to sleep all day. She is made of sunshine and flowers and she smells like cakes and honey. She misses Daddy now, but she doesn't mind too much. Because Grandmother has a secret, too.

In the mornings, she's mine.

I watch the sun come up. The mean, spiteful sun that won't talk to me. The moon says it's because I'm cursed, just like my mother used to before Daddy came and ate her all up so she can't hurt me any more.

The sun burns. It likes to hurt me, even worse than Daddy does. It burns my hands on the window sill, and I like to watch the way the skin turns a pretty black with blood on it as the light dances on them and makes the smoke rise. It's all a dance, but I can't hear the music. Grandmother must make the music for me.

She wraps her arms around me and says, "Come away from the window, Drusilla. You'll hurt yourself."

"The sun won't talk to me, Grandmother. It only likes to burn. Why won't it talk?" I want to know.

"Because the sun hates us." She tells me, but she says it in her pretty voice, the voice she only uses for Daddy.

"You are the sunshine, Grandmother. All sunshine and flowers and honey. Very pretty. Do you love me, Grandmother?"

She smiles at me, her pretty smile. "Very much."

I want to dance. To dance with Grandmother. Her dance doesn't burn because she loves me. Not like the mean old sun at all.

I take her hands, even though mine still hurt from the sun. "Dance with me, Grandmother. Dance with me and make my music."

She smiles and starts to spin me, singing in that funny language Daddy says is called Gaelic. I think it's ugly unless Grandmother says it, but I can't say that to them or they might get angry.

Grandmother spins me around and around and around. Her voice is high and pretty, and the song is soft. I can feel my hands getting better and it's all because Grandmother loves me. She is the good sunshine that makes me well.

Sometimes, Grandmother is mean to me, to punish Daddy for making a baby she didn't want. She talks to me in the mean voice and won't give me any kisses. But not now. In the mornings, she's all mine and she smiles and sings and we dance.

Soon we spin too fast and we fall on the floor and I know Grandmother wants her kisses now.

"Tell me you love me, Grandmother." I want her to say it because she's good and I want someone good to love me. Daddy and the new baby are both wicked, but Grandmother is good and I want her to love me.

"I love you, Drusilla." She says to me in the soft, pretty voice and I give her kisses on her mouth and on her breasts.

Her hands are in my hair and she kisses my mouth while my hands on her breasts. She's so soft and so very cold for sunshine. She doesn't burn me at all.

She opens her dress for me because I don't like the buttons. She does my buttons, too, and I know she likes to look at me because she loves me.

Her breasts are soft and they taste good when I bite them, even though I'm not drinking her blood yet. I never drink her blood. She says it's not for me to do, but I don't mind at all.

Soon, her clothes are gone and so are mine. All gone away, but we're safe from the sun because the ceiling is over us, and Grandmother would never let anything but Daddy hurt me. She rains kisses all over my breasts and my belly, her hands touching me all over and her breasts running over my tummy. It feels funny. I want to laugh, but she kisses me, so I can't.

Grandmother's tongue is soft and pretty and pink, and it feels so cold on my nipples that I shiver. My knees are on her hips and she rubs herself against me between them because it feels good there.

She sucks my breast into her mouth, and I want to scream because it feels so good. Everything Grandmother does feels good. She's soft and sweet and made of cold sunshine.

Her tongue is in my mouth again, but her hands are between my legs and I can feel her fingers inside me, gentle and swift, while her thumb rubs over me and I want to scream but I know she'll be angry if I do.

She takes my hands and moves them down, down between her legs as she turns us over so I'm on top of her and she pulls her fingers out of me. It makes me want to cry, but I know she'll make me feel better later. But it's her turn right now, and what Grandmother wants, Grandmother gets.

I kiss Grandmother all over while I rub her insides with my fingers. I wonder if her insides are as pretty as her outsides, if even her blood is golden and made of silk, like the rest of her. Her insides are like cold velvet and they taste like honey when I put my tongue there and take away my hands.

Grandmother's thighs press against my neck as holds me to her, and I know she loves me. I rub her with my nose and kiss and lick and bite her all over. She makes the soft noises that sound like music to me as her hands tie themselves in my hair. I smile. Grandmother is making the music for me, and her music is much prettier than the stars'.

Her whole body shivers and rocks with mine as I taste her both inside and outside with my tongue and she puts my hands on her breasts, and her nipples are so cold and hard it reminds me of my teeth. I make my teeth long with the mean face that I couldn't do before Darla was my Grandmother and I rub her with them, too, and she pulls on my hair and bucks hard into my face.

She smells and tastes like honey, and her hands are everywhere on my back, rubbing on the funny little bones and it makes me feel good. Grandmother loves me and will always love me. Forever and ever and ever and ever.

Soon she flips us over and she kisses my mouth and my breasts, sucking on both again and again and again. The music is so loud that I think I'm going to burst.

I feel her fingers in me again, much harder and faster this time and the music is getting louder as Grandmother sings to me and so do the moon and the stars and the whole sky. My whole body is singing with them, and soon I can't hold it in any longer and I feel myself screaming.

And when I scream, the silence is sudden and deafening. My body isn't singing, Grandmother isn't singing, the stars and the moon and the sky have all gone back to being quiet. I want to cry. I want them to sing again. I love the music. I want it back!

But Grandmother smiles at me, and I don't miss the music any more. Grandmother smiles because she thinks I'm beautiful and she loves me. Grandmother kisses my mouth and I love her, too.

"Do you love me, Grandmother?" I want to know again.

"Very, very much." She says. "Do you love me, Drusilla?"

"Oh, yes." I whisper, and I hug her so tight she makes a little cry and the moon screams from his bed that I'm a bad girl for hurting her. I let her go a little and kiss her. "I'm sorry, Grandmother. I didn't mean to hurt you."

She looks at me but doesn't say anything and soon I hug her again, big and soft. "I love you, Grandmother. Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever..."

*****

The nasty sun has gone down and now Daddy and Baby are awake. The stars in the moon are out and singing to me again, making the quiet go away and I feel all happy.

Grandmother is devoted to Daddy for right now, but she smiles her smile at me to make me a promise. Because Grandmother and I have a secret.

In the mornings, she's mine.


End file.
